Healthy Communication in Relationships

DO NOT LET ANY UNWHOLESOME TALK COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTHS, BUT ONLY WHAT

IS HELPFUL FOR BUILDING OTHERS UP, THAT IT MAY BENEFIT THOSE WHO LISTEN.

Eph. 4:29

Five Keys to Healthy Communica4on

__________________________

OR __________________________- don’t be reacKve.

Set the temperature in each situaKon. Be purposeful.

__________________________

we say

o Speak __________________________

▪ Remember their true idenKty and their value to God.

“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.

Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and their life is to ours

as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry,

snub and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. This does not

mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment

must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between

people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously - no flippancy,

no superiority, no presumption.” - C. S. Lewis

o Speak __________________________and high value

o Say __________________________- doesn’t have to be a long

conversaKon, even a simple text for a sharp word or bad tone can keep

things from lingering and building up

⇒

__________________________

we say it

● Not when both exhausted

● Not when feeling overly frustrated

● Not when emoKonally amped up / angry

⇒

__________________________

we say it (tone)Prov. 15:1

–

A gentle answer turns away wrath..

__________________________communicaKon

–

not passive aggressive.

⇒

__________________________

you’re saying it to

● Communicate with each other, not to __________________________

● Communicate with each other, not __________________________

⇒

__________________________

you’re saying it

POWER OF FORGIVENESS

Healthy communicaKon cannot exist alongside __________________________- leads to

resentment, grudges, longer lasKng damage.

Knowing the Biblical instrucKon impacts how we communicate. We need to be following

___________________________

__________________________and foremost.

Conflict Resolution

There will be times when we will have conflict in relationships, and in those situations it is

important to resolve the issue quickly and in a Bible-based way. Here are some steps forresolving conflict in based on what God says in the Bible:

1. Get the “Log” Out of Your Own Eye (Mt. 7:5) There are generally two kinds

of “logs” you need to look for in yourself when dealing with conflict:

▪ A critical, negative, or overly sensitive attitude that has led to

unnecessary conflict.

▪ Sinful words and actions. You may need an honest friend or advisor who

will help you to take an objective look at yourself and face up to your

personal contribution to a conflict.

2. Overlook Minor Offenses. As a general rule, take at least a short

amount of time to consider the offense. Taking a break to process your

emotions, along with thinking and praying about it, can help give

perspective and clarity.

3. Talk Directly to the Person, in Private. (This is a step to take only if

you feel you can be safe in that private conversation. If you do not feel

you can be safe, consider step four below).

God commands us to go and talk with the person who has hurt or

offended us privately and lovingly about the situation (Matt. 18:15). As

you do so, remember to:

▪ Pray for humility and wisdom (1 Peter 5:5)

▪ Plan your words carefully- how would you want to be confronted

(Prov. 15:1-2)

▪ Choose the right time and place- talk in person if possible (Prov.

16:21, 27:12)

▪ Assume the best about the other person (Prov. 18:17)

▪ Listen carefully (Prov. 18:13)

▪ Speak only to build others up (Eph. 4:29)

▪ Ask for feedback from the other person (Prov. 18:2)

4. If step three is not working, take someone else with you.

If repeated, careful attempts at a private discussion are not fruitful, and if

the matter is still too serious to overlook, you should ask someone you

trust - hopefully someone who is a leader in your church or a ministry

nearby - to meet with you and the other person to help you resolve your

differences. (Mt 18:16) This is not an opportunity to blast them publicly or

spread information on social media - this is still a private conversation with

a mediator to help you each hear each other and work together towards a

resolution.